Don’t worry, this isn’t going to become a cooking blog. But I enjoyed this culinary discovery so much I can’t help but evangelize it.
Behold – the copiously coffee-coated steak.
- Dry the steak.
- Sprinkle & rub in salt, pepper, ground coffee on both sides.
- Leave on a rack in the fridge for a day or two to dry it out.
- Preheat oven on low heat.
- Very briefly sear on both sides in pan on highest heat setting.
- Place into the oven until desired doneness.
Remarks:
- Unique taste, keeps you awake & super-wired (so best not to consume in the evening, unless perhaps you plan on partying all night).
- Closest thing to methamphetamines I’ve discovered to date.
Another random thing I recently discovered – apparently, many very productive billionaires are addicted to Diet Coke/Cola Zero (Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and of course Donald Trump).
Please keep off topic posts to the current Open Thread.
If you are new to my work, start here.
On-topic:
https://imgur.com/BpLzOnl
Highly recommend it; I used the cast iron pan around 500-550 degrees with dry brining techniques. One note on dry brining – use less salt than you normally would, as the penetration will go much higher than normal.
For additional caffeine, I used Deathwish coffee beans which I generally recommend for quality.
https://www.deathwishcoffee.com/
Looks very interesting.
Gonna try it very soon.
Thanks for the recipe Anatoly!
A lot of studies seem to say artificial sweeteners aren’t really healthy options. Who knows about the science behind it? But one thing that seems fairly straightforward is the acidic content – not good for your teeth and possibly not good for your kidneys.
If I were the health czar of some fatso country, one thing that I would do is make sure that the all the kids titrated coke, etc. in their chemistry classes.
It’s probably more acidic than you’d think:
Diet Coke 3.28
Coke Zero 3.18
Cherry Coke 2.52
Coca-Cola CLASSIC 2.50
dentine dissolves <6.50
enamel dissolves <5.50
And these softdrink companies are globohomo. First Pepsi commercial in USSR (1988) had blacks and a pedophile (Michael Jackson) in it.
seems like red bull would still be better.
coke zero is a fairly significant development. lots of guys in sports are ‘on’ coke zero. they probably were on it before the younger billionaires and switched over to coke zero soon after it came out. a few years ago coca-cola was going to discontinue coke zero and the sports guys were mad.
wonder what red bull/coke zero would taste like.
red bull pulled their red bull cola from the US around 2011. but they still make it. you just have to import it by the case if you want it. i found it to be the best productivity booster.
Finally! Why:
What’s wrong with a juicy steak, anyway?
Also, whatever happened to our carniverous and intelligent friend Thorfinnsson?
(dang, it’s been so long that I almost forgot how to spell his name). 🙂
This is not a secret. This is quite common in Brazil for Picanha cuts, and other parts of Latin America.
Cacao, or a coffee+cacao rub, has an even more interesting dimension of taste.
This would not be a popular approach for American preferences.
Plus, I suspect you are making the mistake of not letting the steak rise up to room temperature before putting it in the pan, since you skipped that step. That step, however time-consuming, is important for multiple reasons. People assume that the heat of the pan (and later oven) makes this step unnecessary, but anyone knowledgeable about steak knows better.
In the same spirit of “espirit de corps” I wold like to share this very simple recipe that I served up to two good friends for dinner last night. The recipe was inspired by an African one that I had sampled during a barbecue many years ago (with chicken breast, not shrimp)..”Garlic Coconut Shrimp Chili”
Recipe for 3:
2 lbs shrimp
2 cans coconut milk or cream (I used one of each)
At least 10 fat cloves of garlic
Tuong Chili Garlic Sauce
Your favorite pasta or rice
Saute the large cleaned shrimp in a large skillet greased with olive oil and some milk butter. Keep adding crushed garlic throughout the whole process to taste (the more the merrier). Halfway through (about 5-6 minutes) add two cans of coconut milk/cream. Stir everything thoroughly and add Tuong chili Garlic Sauce to taste. If you have a squeamish stomach, just add in a little bit – if you’re like Karlin and myself, go for it! When all cooked, serve over pasta or rice. The next time I make it, I will definitely add in some nice & sweet pineapple chunks. Yum!
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71C9D9vGBHL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
Next up in AK’s cookbook:
Don’t you have a problem with tolerance buildup? I have to drink more and more and later and later and then it meses my sleep cycle.
Try alternating with modafinil one day and caffeine the next.
Have you tried your meat and potatoes (or ham and grits, as the case may be) with red-eye gravy? It’s an old Southern USA thing made with coffee and the meat juices.
Make it with the juices from your ham, and pour it on in the morning, or anytime.
Ingredients:
1 slice of country ham
1/2 cup boiling strong black coffee
In a skillet, fry the ham slice in its own fat over medium heat until nicely browned on both sides. Once it is cooked, transfer the ham to a warm platter, keeping the drippings in the skillet.
Add the boiling black coffee to the skillet. Deglaze, scraping the bottom and sides of the skillet to dissolve any particles that developed when you cooked the ham.
What is left in the skillet is red-eye gravy, which you can then pour over the ham and serve.
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EihfUPHEb8I/maxresdefault.jpg
Bah, I don’t have a fridge that can be used for drying (it’s not wire racks but instead solid plastic), but I guess just letting it soak up all the stuff will suffice
Perhaps, even make some sort of marinade….
Just use a cooling rack, often used for baking, and put it in the fridge on that with something underneath.
Most of you youngsters are probably too young to remember how pasta was made in the “good old days”:
Caveat mTOR. Limit protein.
What are those green things next to Anatoly’s steak? I’m not even joking, I really don’t know.
Love a good coffee steak but, in my experience, it does not approach meth, not a run you could make in under 12 parsecs, several galaxies away from meth I’d say.
You never has asparagus before?
I’ve got gout and you guys are killing me here 😉
This is serious food porn.
I miss steak.
I’ve been making something similar for a while but with some variations:
First I add some more ingredients, primarily brown sugar, and I also add ground cumin and ginger. Personal tastes might vary so try what works best for you.
You can also reduce the concentration of coffee if you still want the flavor without the insomnia.
Last but not least, the piece de resistance : sprinkle crumbled bleu cheese over the steaks before they go in the oven. The flavor mix with the coffee is delicious.
I just use a cheap cooling rack like this:
https://www.target.com/p/non-stick-cooling-rack-carbon-steel-made-by-design-8482/-/A-53118914
And then stick it on a baking pan.
Oh, asparagus! Thanks, I think I would have probably recognized it if the picture was sharper. I couldn’t quite make out the end, and it seemed skinnier. I was thinking it must be something more exotic.
My conceptual picture of asparagus is somewhat different. I don’t really pay too much attention in the produce section, so I won’t say I have never seen the like, but I do wonder a bit whether Russia has a different esthetic standard for it than your standard American version.
In answer to your question, I can’t ever remember eating a similar arrangement, with steak, though I am sure I must have eaten some before.
I was addicted to Coke Zero until two months ago and I procrastinate terribly and am not a billionaire, so I wouldn’t make any hasty conclusions.
I saved lots of money by switching to coffee that I make on my own. Plus, some involuntary muscle twitch that started in my lower leg that was a bit annoying when trying to fall asleep went away. But it’s probably not due to the Coke chemicals but the fact that it’s a diuretic and I wasn’t drinking enough water after it. It is better than normal sugar Coke for you, but ultimately it’s not worth it to drink even sugar-free water flavored with chemicals that are not tested well enough on animal models (aspartame is only one of the ingredients) and long-term on humans. Tea and coffee have been tested pretty well on humans over the past few centuries.
The steak looks something to try, but far too much effort for my current lifestyle. It needs to be done if I’m on quarantine or a holiday is coming up. I made the Russian Napoleon cake for New Year though. It was a bit of work, but very delicious. I think it gave me diabetes for a few days. Next time definitely need a much less sugary alternative.
https://i.imgur.com/Z7VL88z_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
https://pics.davesgarden.com/pics/2010/04/21/wind/4a7452.jpg
For real food, come to the lower South Island of NZ. Regional specialties include:
Invercargill Pizza
Take one frozen pizza base. Pour on two cans of tinned spaghetti and bake until mushy.
Southland salad dressing.
Take equal parts of tinned condensed milk and vinegar. Combine.
Chip butties.
Stuff as many chips as you can into a soft white roll and compress. Season with Wattie’s tomato ketchup.
Southland dip
The magic ingredient is Maggi instant onion soup powder. Add Maggi powder to a bowl of reduced cream and stir. Best eaten with cold French fries.
Mataura cheese rolls.
Grate mass-produced Edievale cheese that has been allowed to mature in its plastic wrapping. Grate over soft white bread, add Maggi powder, roll up, compress and toast.
As Thorfinnsson says,
Coffee-rubbed steak >> Coke Zero.
I ate coffee rubbed lamb chops for dinner at a restaurant in Milan once and spent the entire night staring at the ceiling wondering if I’ll ever fall asleep. Never again.
Sleep is for p*ssies.
(I’m paraphrasing Jeff Bezos’ reply to a major consulting firm that had written to him on the topic of how they could help turn a young and growing Amazon to profitability.)
Donald Trump is unlikely to belong on that list of billionaires. Drinking that much diet Coke is probably terrible for tooth enamel erosion.
Amazon is backed by the CIA. Bozo never needed to be profitable.
Those shriveled stems of asparagus don’t look very appetizing. You need fresh stems (preferrable picked from your garden) and left with a little crunch, not watery overcooked. Also, it doesn’t seem to have enough (any?) butter, lemon butter or Hollandaise sauce.
Also, shouldn’t a real monarchist at least have a little blood juice puddling under his steak?
I’ve heard of asparagus served reasonably often with steak – at least with steakhouses around here. Doing a quick search for it brings up quite a few results, for example:
https://blog.williams-sonoma.com/steak-potatoes-and-asparagus/
I favor it often because it introduces multiple primary colors – reddish brown(steak), green(asparagus), and white/gold(potatoes). I also like peaches & cream corn as a side, but I believe that’s fairly uncommon – in my opinion, the contrasts in texture work well, since both steak and potatoes have a hearty mouthfeel, corn comes off well as crisp and juicy.
Russia does have some interesting arrangements with food, but I believe they’re not as popular these days, and to some extent, is an acquire taste:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dressed_herring
You grow asparagus?
Also: to improve Mr. Karlin’s food, help contribute to his kitchen fund:
https://www.patreon.com/akarlin
Also: coffee(and chocolate) will make your nation smarter.
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/0de3/1231071106c1f0656c26e45dc704178a6eb9.pdf
The most honest reason for research.
“Interesting” is an understatement:
Have you tried this dish, and what do you think? In some variations, I think that sauerkraut and peas are even included. As far as my own taste buds tell me, this dish is the epitome of gastronomic chaos. Sweet, sour, salty flavors vie for dominance with absolutely no harmony being achieved. Also the textures seem to clash too, with crunchy items at odds with the soft fleshy herring, that I think is supposed to play the lead role here?…I’ve tried it several times and it always ends up being:
You grow asparagus?
Yes, although I have a limited amount this year as it is just my 2nd year on my new bed. It takes 3 or 4 years to get to full production.
Also: to improve Mr. Karlin’s food, help contribute to his kitchen fund:
Judging from his culinary postings it appears that Mr. Karlin eats higher on the hog than I. Anyway, I need all my spare cash right now to buy corona virus amulets.
Ah, I see. Thanks for the clearer picture. The middle one is kind of more what I think of. I don’t think I would have recognized the one in front.
Yes, I’ve had it. Its unusual – I don’t react to it enough to say that I dislike it, but at the same time, it mostly comes off as a creamy cold fishy dish, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to take that. Personally I like to think it is primarily for the coloration because from a taste perspective, the most that I can say is that it is very tolerable.
This could be a lot worse. You could put butter in your coffee.
There is one and only one way to consume coffee in my kitchen. Fresh brewed and black. If it has been sitting on the warmer for twenty minutes, pitch it and brew more. Brewed coffee gets gross quick.
Fresh ground beans for extra credit but that is kind of too much work if you just woke up out of bed.
A Polish expert/professor on Twitter says that the London School of Hygiene believes the rate of infection is now only 0.62 in the UK.
https://twitter.com/ProfKarolSikora/status/1245284388004298752
We might be very sceptical of these claims – however if such claims were true, it would imply epidemic is perhaps not as difficult to defeat as we had believed.
Current “lockdown” of the UK is not really something strict and many people disobey, and for some mysterious reason of the anglosaxon soul, most people refuse to wear any personal protection (not just sealed goggles and P100 filtering masks – but they do not even have a scarf or paper mask on the face).
It might vary by country, (flavour varies a lot between countries as well) but Coke Zero has only the same very low level of caffeine as normal Coca Cola.
Diet Coke/Coca Cola Light usually has around double caffeine of a normal Coca Cola. It’s still quite low caffeine – I’ve never not been able to sleep from drinking too much Coca Cola Light/Diet Coke.
Relates also to their age a bit. Diet Coke was the most fashionable, famous and popular drink of 1980s America.
Probably in recent years already, it seems more fashionable to drink Monster Zero Ultra. A decade ago Red Bull was fashionable, and now we are all used to Monster, Red Bull seems weak and low caffeine.
The trend is becoming more and more stimulated and strong drinks. Monster Zero is already almost as stimulating as smoking a cigarette (it’s like half a cigarette and a coffee).
Well historically, Coca Cola had cocaine.
So what is the quality of beef like in Russia? Is there anything that approaches wagyu levels there?
I need to point out that there a no jews in that list, is Diet Coke meant for goyim only?
Daily reminder that “foodie culture” is the #2 gateway drug for globohomo mind rot.
(#1 is the idea of “consent”.)
You can have both, sir.
Excerpted from Douglas Adam’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
I don’t understand where you’re getting a “creamy” taste from? Perhaps, in some variation the cook has managed to include mashed potatoes?
BTW, I enjoy both herring and beet dishes, separately. Ideally, I like herring served alongside young potatoes with fresh dill minced finely. Atop the herring only thinly sliced sweet onion. Period.
Borschch is considered the King of soups (and rightly so) and showcases beets. Tomato additions and sour cream add the delicious “sour” that contrasts harmoniously with the sweetness of the beets and carrots. I also enjoy a good beet salad, however, never in any close proximity to herring (as in shubin).
In my estimation, often simple is better than complicated, and with shubin you get a circus collection of tastes and textures that just don’t seem to blend harmoniously.
Mayo. It might be my sensitivity to it, but its one of the things I always remember. The one which I had quite a bit of that.
I like herring a lot, actually, but mostly as “kipper snacks.” Smoked herring is one of my favorite things and given the option, I’ll have it nearly every day. Unfortunately, I live with cats and fighting them off gets repetitive.
what’s sleep?
as Arnold said. sleep faster.
coke zero is a lot better than diet coke and not just how it tastes. diet coke is probably almost as bad for you as regular coke, due to the chemicals and extra caffeine. there’s basically no point to drinking diet coke, and, when that was the only real alternative, you might as well just drink mexican coke, or any other version that used cane sugar instead of corn syrup.
pepsi has something similar, pepsi zero, which i’ve never tried, since coke is a lot better than pepsi and what would be the point. but that makes me wonder if dr pepper zero is possible, which i would drink.
even so, drinking that much carbonated brown liquid isn’t great for you, sugar or not. it still affects your teeth some, and your GI tract. 1 or 2 of the small red bulls per day is plenty and gets you the same effect. if you’re on energy drinks constantly like i was for years, that’s probably a minor version of what meth feels like. you can tell immediately when you come down off it, and you’re instantly less productive, get less done, and need more sleep. you can sustain an energy drink schedule and high for several years in a row, if you’re serious about some project. although no way should you do that permanently, and you better go thru periods of cycling off, just like steroids. the built up sleep deficit will be huge after a year.
we got to the moon on caffeine, nicotine, and sugar.
a lot of athletes used ECA stack – ephedrine, caffeine, aspirin.
I too enjoy kipper snacks and their relatives the Baltic sprats and Mediterranean sardines. A piece of crusty bread (to mop up the oils) and young green onions is all that is needed! 🙂
This is still one of the best-loved dishes in the Baltics and Ukraine, even among the young and non-Russians. It’s also similar to the Swedish Christmas dish sillsallad.
If memory serves, Trump drinks twelve cans of Diet Coke a day, which amounts to about four liters a day.
I splurged on a coffee machine with grinder a couple of months ago, it’s been one of my best investments. I keep it on my bed stand and start it up as soon as I wake up.
To clarify, Trump is unlikely to be a billionaire. Would be entirely unsurprised if he chugs that much diet Coke.
What kind of coffee machine? – I’ll guess nespresso, as the only kind I imagine could not be too messy to keep near your bed.
I use Hario v60 – for Japanese filter style coffee – but it requires a bit too much patience and skill. Alternatively, using Aeropress, but I am sometimes feeling paronoid about the effect of the plastic of the aeropross going into the coffee.
I feel like the only danger to health from caffeine, is when you drink too much that you cannot sleep.
And that is difficult with Diet Coke, – unless you live somewhere very hot – as the caffeine dose is small, and you would have to drink a few litres to match a couple of coffees.
On the other hand, after two cans of Monster Ultra Zero, I have found it impossible to sleep at night. It only has 140mg per can – so it is like 1-2 cups of coffee. But there is perhaps some of the other ingredients in it (the B vitamins and ginseng?) which makes it.
Krups Quattro Force (there was a big sale)
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81pGnViSrQL._SY450_.jpg
I liked the flavors of the Monster brand when I was drinking these stimulants at the office. Now that I’m at home, it’s strictly freshly ground beans of coffee. 2 cans would definitely wire me out! I was down to half a cup in the early afternoon to get me through the rest of the day (after lunch sometime). The Ultra Black cherry was especially tasty and uplifting – don’t know if they offer it around the whole planet?
As Karlin seems to busy right now (probably recalculating his coronavirus estimates), perhaps you can explain to me why one might want to “dry-out” a good juicy steak on a rack for two days in a fridge? Do the meat juices not blend well with the raw coffee coating, or is there something else going on that I’m not aware of? Thanks.
I meant half a can (they’re somewhat large).
Wow! Now I can skip my morning cup of joe when I have steak and eggs 🙂
Not bad. Not bad at all.
The steak looks a bit overcooked, and not fatty enough.
Good point, Adams is a failed prophet of the globohomo and of the mind rot.
Those are cheaper to make yourself:
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/AdEAAOxy4dNSyD5-/s-l300.jpg
However, China accounts for something like two-thirds of world’s garlic exports, and with international trade breaking down like it does now, garlic is certainly going to be more expensive in the near future. 🙁
Anatoly is probably playing video games.
This is the basic idea:
https://jesspryles.com/recipe/how-to-make-your-steak-even-tastier-use-the-dry-brining-method/
Long story short, though, drying out the surface allows for a better crust and penetration by the spice and flavor into the meat itself. You should try it out sometime – it makes an appreciable and interesting difference.
There’s also a “seasoning the board” technique to look into, if you’re interested.
the spice and flavor into the meat itself.
IMO, it’s pretty hard to improve upon the flavor of a plain medium rare filet mignon.
As to the asparagus, I like steaming. The stems need to be broken off from the flower ends because they need about 1/2 more steam time. It really should be some sort of misdemeanor to not top it with Hollandaise Sauce. If the chef and kitchen staff are on vacation, Knorr makes a pretty good mix.
This is a bit of Chinese style cooking.
Have you tried to make a Peking Duck at home? You have to leave it for a day to dry with spices.
Probably he left, because he was angry about the 3 comments per hour limit imposed here – I feel the same way. It makes it difficult to have anything like “conversation flow” we used to enjoy, when we could write dozens of comments in a few minutes. Remember how in old days we could load up the page, enjoy an hour writing 10 or 15 comments here to different people, then log off after said everything we wanted.
I really enjoy eating Peking Duck, and didn’t know that it could be made at home. I read somewhere that it’s usually made within a special type of oven, so I’ve never pursued making it at home?
I’m sure that he didn’t enjoy the 3 replies per hour mandate, but I don’t think that it would be enough
to keep him from commenting here? I hope that he’s Okay and miss his entertaining remarks here.
Thorfy, you’re probably working at home now, so let us all know how y’all are doing? 🙂
“Thorfy” will be reading your message shortly.
As Dmitry has probably used up his 3 comments already, and it looks like “Karly” is still absorbed in designing his new video game “Corona Sharona”, any thoughts from you about making Peking Duck at home? This may be your last chance to divulge any ancient Chinese secrets of the culinary variety, you know how averse “Karly” is to “cooking blogs”? 🙂
https://youtu.be/g1T71PGd-J0
This is for “Thorfy” where even a thread about steak couldn’t shake him loose, maybe this video will (he loves music from this era)?
Sorry for the delay, old and shit, low beginning baseline, etc.
Under what scenario does it make sense for you to solicit me for money for AK?
Any available opportunity to shill for Karlin is a good one.